


Four Broken Hearts and a Wedding

by fitzsimmonsy



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 13:36:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13214847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fitzsimmonsy/pseuds/fitzsimmonsy
Summary: When Bodhi asks his roommate, Jyn, to pretend to be his girlfriend for the evening of Chirrut and Baze’s wedding, she thinks nothing of it. She knows what he went through when Luke left; she won’t let him lose face. What she doesn’t expect, however, is the return of Cassian Andor.





	Four Broken Hearts and a Wedding

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thereigning_lorelai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thereigning_lorelai/gifts).



> Written for the wonderful @thereigning-lorelai over at tumblr for the The RebelCaptain Network's Secret Santa exchange. 
> 
> A special thank you to the beta-ing skills of [amandarex](http://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaRex/works) and for being a wonderful source of support. Also, big thanks to [mollivanders](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mollivanders/pseuds/mollivanders/) and [ruthedotcom](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ruthedotcom/pseuds/ruthedotcom) for their love and encouragement
> 
> (Additionally, I'd like to note that Luke/Bodhi and Chirrut/Baze are secondary pairings in this fic. Unfortunately ao3 does not have a special tag for that, but I wanted to clarify in case anyone was coming here specifically for them.)

 

Jyn tightened her grip on Bodhi’s arm as they entered the reception hall, her other hand running down the side of her dress. She’d barely been in this outfit for an hour, and she was already longing for the sweet release of a pair of sweatpants and soft cotton tee. While considerably less elegant, they also didn’t require wearing Spanx.

But feeling the tremble of her friend beneath her grip pulled her thoughts away from herself and steeled her resolve. Though it had been almost two years, the memory of Bodhi that night, eyes red-rimmed from tears, his face a study of shock and grief, was seared into her mind. Especially since she’d spent the next _month_ coaxing him into leaving his room, eating, and generally functioning.

All of that came flooding back when she saw the culprit across the ballroom. _Luke Skywalker_. Her eyes narrowed; although he was the darling of all their mutual friends, Jyn was no real fan of his, not after experiencing the devastation his breakup had wreaked on Bodhi. Some things just cut too deep.

Like Bodhi’s nails that he was currently digging into her palm. He seemed to realize right when she did that Luke was standing not too far from them. _Alone_. Jyn could almost feel the swell of hope and eagerness in Bodhi.

“Keep your head on straight,” she hissed into his ear. “You’re not getting back with him.”

“Of course not,” Bodhi told her. His voice was light, but he conveniently kept his gaze locked on Luke.

He glanced at her just in time to catch the full force of her death-ray glare.

“I’m not going to do anything silly, don’t worry.” Bodhi unlinked their arms and ran his hands down the front of his tuxedo. “I’m just… going to see how he’s doing. You know. Catch up, for old time’s sake.”

A protest lodged in her throat. Her instinct was to protect Bodhi. But there was only so much she could do. And she was already doing so much. The dress. The makeup. _The story of their relationship that they’d spent the past week crafting_ . Which she would have to _act convincingly_ on.

“Just don’t forget about your _girlfriend_ , okay?” she whispered, patting him on the arm, just as Luke’s gaze fell upon them. Bodhi suddenly snaked his arm around Jyn’s waist and leaned down to place a kiss lightly on her lips. It would’ve been a lot more impressive if he hadn’t gaped like a fish for ten seconds before he did.

Jyn desperately hoped that only she and Bodhi could tell that it was like siblings were kissing.

“I’ll see you in a bit, dear,” Bodhi said loudly enough for Luke to hear. “Thank you,” he added under his breath, before he headed over.

Jyn lifted her hand to wipe her mouth, but then remembered that a) that would not look convincing, and b) she was wearing lipstick she couldn’t smear. Dropping her hand awkwardly to her side, she turned away from Bodhi’s bad decisions to try and figure out what she was going to do until they served dinner. While the amount of time they've been given between the wedding and reception was nice initially-

“Yes, that sounds nice. Thank you.”

A familiar voice reverberated in her ears and scattered her thoughts. Jyn froze, halfway through her swivel. Could it be? Her heart hammered out deafening _thump thumps_ as she turned, achingly slow, to the source of the sound.

The sharp breath she sucked in lodged in her throat as her suspicion was confirmed. Although his back was almost completely towards her, she could still make out the curve of his jaw. She would recognize those sculpted features anywhere.

It was _Cassian Andor_.

He’d come back.

 _Well_ , the thought echoed through her brain, hardened, and more bitter and louder than ever, _for now_.

* * *

_They were halfway through The Man from U.N.C.L.E. when Cassian’s phone lit up again. And maybe it was because she was just quick by nature, or maybe she’d been (not so subtly) watching his phone the whole night, but the words were already etched in her mind before he could flip his phone over._

_ >> Kay: When’s our train on Thursday? _

_The familiar knot in her stomach began to form. Her face set in stern lines as she stared at him. “You’re leaving again,” she spat out, her arms crossing defensively._

_Cassian held the phone at arm’s length, as if ashamed._

_After a long silence, Cassian ducked his head, shoulders slacking. “You know what my job is like, Jyn. I have to go.”_

_“I know what it’s_ ** _like_** _. And still, you haven’t actually told me_ ** _what_** _it is.”_

_She made herself ignore the shame darkening his features. Otherwise, she'd tumble to the temptation of placing her hand on his arm, standing by him silently until he was ready to tell her what exactly was on his mind, simply to get that look off his face. But, she had no such sympathy today._

_Instead, she sneered. “Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure I’ve figured it out. Great job you have there, Andor. Tell me, do all-” She raised her hands to finger quote theatrically. “-security analysts move around a lot? Or is it just you?”_

_His lips compressed for a moment before he took the bait. “I’m sorry. Is keeping a legal, steady job a problem for you? Not all of us can afford to be_ **_grifters-_ ** _”_

_The look on her face must have halted him. When he began again, his voice was softer, though still hoarse._

_“’I’m sorry. I’ll be back. This isn’t goodbye.”_

* * *

“Jyn,” he said. The sound of her name from his lips jolted her out of her memories.

“Hello Cassian,” she replied. Hopefully, the yellow cast of the ballroom lighting could hide her flush. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Cassian peered at Jyn, head cocked, brow furrowed. “And miss the wedding of the century? I think not.”

The reminder that he was only stopping by for Baze and Chirrut filled her with a bitterness she had not anticipated.

“Right.”

He seemed to recoil slightly at her curtness so she tried to recover.

“Kay not with you?” she asked, forcibly lightening her intonation.

Cassian shook his head slowly. “He had to stay in D.C., to uh-finish off the paperwork before the move.”

The acidic taste in her mouth seemed to seep down her throat and into her lungs.

“Moving again? Where to this, time?”

The corner of Cassian’s mouth quirked back into a grin. “Here.”

She could feel her pretense of calm and collected dropping instantly, though she tried desperately to keep it together.

“What? You’re moving back here?” Her momentary spark of excitement was quickly quelled by a roil in her stomach. “For how long?” She added more quietly.

The warmth of his grin carried into his reply. “For good. I’ve moved on to other work. I’m back.” _Like I told you I would_ , his look seemed to supply.

* * *

_The creaking door of the elevator shut, leaving them in the dim lighting. The floor beneath them lurched as the elevator began its slow descent._

_Suddenly, as though all noise drained away, they were left in an all-encompassing silence._

_With his suitcases crammed in with them into the tiny space, they’d taken refuge in the corner of the elevator. Cassian had toppled into her, trying to make more room for his belongings._

_She knew that his hands only gripped her waist briefly; to her, it stretched eternally. As she gazed into his eyes, the intensity there betraying the serenity of his expression, she forgot everything. There was nothing beyond them and this moment. They were only ones in the building, the whole block, the whole city. In an endless universe, he-they were the center._

_His breath ghosted over her lips and-_

_The shuddering halt of the elevator beneath them shocked her out of her trance. As the door slid open, Jyn realized that they missed their chance. Again._

_If there had even been a chance._

* * *

Perhaps, her chances weren’t spent. As hope blossomed in her, so did their conversation. After he’d left, she’d tried to forget how easy it could be talking to him, despite their clashes and tension. But now that she had him again, she never wanted to let go.

She wanted to know all about his life, the past two and a half years that she’d missed out on. Cassian had always been curt. Now, she couldn’t help but smile as he made sure to elaborate for her.

Though he had been intently watching her, she noticed his gaze slipped as Han and Leia passed them by.

“So have you, uh… well, been-” he began, faltering, his easy sense of conversation escaping him all of a sudden.

In all the years that she’d known him, Jyn had never known Cassian to not know what to say. Was it too forward, too _hopeful_ , of her to think that’s what he was asking her? Could he be…?

“I’m not seeing anyone,” she said quietly, terrified that she’d been out of line. That she had misjudged his question. Reigning in her hope, she reminded herself that this was a normal question that friends asked one another.

“Han and Leia are the still the couple of the group,” she followed up, as a protective measure.

The corner of Cassian’s eyes crinkled as his face lit up in a genuine smile.

“I-” she began, then froze, fear coiling and tightening in her chest as she heard Bodhi’s distinct voice over the crowd. _How could she have completely forgotten?!_

A high-pitched ringing overtook everything, reverberating in her skull. She knew that Cassian had leaned in and was asking her, in that hoarse low voice of his, if she was alright, if he could do anything to help her. She could hear the kind tempo of his voice over the din; she just couldn’t focus on the words. She could not stand to witness how everything was about to shatter.

Jyn watched in slow motion as Bodhi, and Luke, made their way over to them. Jyn could tell Bodhi hadn't noticed Cassian before now, given the joyous grin spreading across his face when he saw who she was standing with. Every nerve in her body was screaming at her to run, to bolt, her eyes flitting towards the door as if they held her solution and escape.

She had every right to run. Her mother, her father, Saw…all of them had left and she’d weathered it. When she thought Cassian would never come back…

But Bodhi had dated Luke. Luke had _betrayed_ him. She and Cassian had never had anything. Not really. Not actually. The _maybes_ and _perhaps_ had always dangled between each time they met, each time Cassian returned for just a little while. And even that, could have been a figment of her imagination. The difference was that Bodhi had let Luke in and he’d left. She couldn’t betray Bodhi too.

The resolve snapped her back to the present.

“-this is my girlfriend, Jyn.” Bodhi placed his hand on her back lightly, where it seared with a white-hot pain that could not have come from Bodhi’s hand alone.

She extended her hand to Luke. “We’ve met,” Jyn said, her voice more strained than it was supposed to be.

Luke looked between the two of them, clearly trying to keep whatever emotion he was feeling from overtaking his features. “Really? Huh. Guess I should have been more worried about you two being roommates from the get-go."

Cassian's tone was suspiciously neutral as he added, “This is a surprise! How long have you two been together?”

Jyn felt her blood curdling at Cassian’s question. The previous mirth she’d seen in his expression was gone, replaced with stony stillness, save for the spasm in his jaw as he clenched it.

She was frozen, having expended her energy searching for more signs of his reaction, because she could say or do no more. To speak the truth would blow Bodhi’s cover, but to continue to lie now would only reinforce Cassian’s belief that she had lied to him. How would she ever undo that damage? A tiny voice in her also wondered if the chances were spent now, now that he knew that she was unavailable, but she couldn’t even address that part of her now.

Sensing her hesitation, Bodhi jumped to cover.

“Nothing had happened before, honest,” he told Luke. “We just kind of realized it after you and I..well, you know.” Bodhi looked to her.

Regretfully, Jyn came in for her cue, straining now to keep her focus on Luke, and not Cassian. “Yes, I’m grateful about how it worked out for us, Luke. Thank you.”

“So yeah.. That’d put us at…We’ve been together a year and a half now? Right darling?” he asked Jyn.

She nodded, a little more forcefully than she should have. She just hoped that her abject misery at having to perform this routine in front of Cassian wasn’t completely obvious to everyone involved.

“Well, I’m really happy it worked out for you,” Luke replied politely.

Cassian nodded. “Me too.” When she chanced a look at him, the warmth of Cassian’s words did not extend to his features.

Bodhi’s hand shifted in the ensuing silence, wrapping around Jyn’s waist as he drew her closer.

He placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head and she could feel his ragged breathing in her hair. At least, at the end of all things, they were suffering together.

Luke was inhaling to say something, but the sudden crackle of the speakers and wedding DJ’s voice across them interrupted his train of thought.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please stand and welcome Chirrut and Baze as husbands for the first time!”

Selfishly, Jyn hoped that this meant that she would have a moment to recover at dinner, to figure out how to explain to Cassian—privately—that she and Bodhi were just pretending. That this was just a ruse. She knew that if she didn’t clarify immediately that she would lose him more permanently than she ever had. Her chest felt like it was collapsing into itself as she considered the thought.

And yet, as she moved to find her placard, she discovered that she, Bodhi, Cassian, Luke, and Luke’s date—where had he even come from?—were all sitting at a table together. Alone.

 _Of course._ Why would the universe send a scrap of luck her way if it had the opportunity to mock her mercilessly instead?

* * *

_Jyn’s knuckles clenched white as she marched from the courthouse. Of all the stupid-_

_“Jyn.” A strong hand on her shoulder stopped her. Cassian. She’d recognize his touch anywhere. As she turned, he immediately released her._

_They faced each other silently for a moment. A warmth pooled in her core as she realized that he had come for her… after she’d told him not to._

_“They were never going to believe you.”_

_The warmth hardened into a painful weight in her stomach. Her nostrils flared as she struggled to contain her shame._

_“I appreciate the support,” she replied with heavy irony._

_He moved closer and she mirrored him, stepping back. He didn’t have to spell out what she already knew. The word of an ex-criminal was always going to be eviscerated in the court. It had been foolish of her to agree to be a witness in the first place._

_“But I do. I believe you.”_

_The retort she was about to spit out lodged in her throat. She simply watched him, silently, not moving this time as he closed the space between them._

_“Your father would have been proud of what you did today, Jyn.”_

_His face was so perilously close that she could feel his hot breath on her face; she could see the light sheen of moisture on his lips._

_A light shiver ran up her spine and he cleared his throat. All of a sudden, it seemed they were standing further apart._

_“Let’s grab a drink then? My treat. Bodhi and the rest are already at the bar.” She could feel her lips quirk up into a small smile as she nodded._

_They fell into step next to one another._

_Just before they entered the bar, Cassian paused, his eyes scanning her face. He let out a shaky breath, then said, his voice low, “Just remember, I will always believe you, Jyn. You don’t- You’re not alone in this, okay?”_

_She stared at him, at the sincerity etched into the weary lines of his face._

_Swallowing hard, she whispered, “Okay.”_

* * *

Glancing sidelong, Jyn surveyed Cassian’s sullen features. It certainly _did not_ seem like he was going to believe a word that she would say now.

What would she even say to him?

_“Hey, if it matters to you, I’m pretending to be Bodhi’s girlfriend to make sure he saves face in front of Luke. Of course we’re not together. Dude’s like my brother. If you care about that part of it.”_

She let out a shuddering breath.

_“Do you care?”_

Probably not. In particular, because everytime Luke so much as looked towards Bodhi, the latter either grasped her hand or leaned down to stage-whisper sweet nothings at her.

In spite of her, the performance was believable. Bodhi had always been a convincing liar, after all. While she’d maintained lies largely through omission or keeping her head down and details to a minimum, Bodhi always excelled at bringing tales to life.

As Bodhi recounted their romantic trip to the Poconos mountains last Christmas—a wild story, especially considering they’d actually sat at home and competed to see who could make their candy cane into the sharpest point—Jyn had to keep from wincing as Cassian cut rather brutally into his steak.

“That sounds like a lovely trip, Bodhi! I can’t believe it’s the first time I’m hearing about it.”

Bodhi practically jumped out of his chair as he turned to the smiling Chirrut, and Baze, trailing shortly behind him.

“Really?! I will have to tell you all about it another night.” Jyn hoped only she noticed that Bodhi’s voice was about two tones higher than normal. Bodhi smiled warmly and clapped Chirrut on the back, then reached out to shake Baze’s hand. “Tonight is about you two! Congratulations. We’re all really so thrilled for you.”

As she waited her turn to congratulate her friends, a joy swelled in her chest that even the events of this evening couldn’t quash. She didn’t know anyone more deserving of such a special celebration than them. Clasping each of their hands, Jyn appreciated that, with them, she never needed many words.

“I’m glad you’re here, little sister,” Baze told her.

As Chirrut stepped to sit in the chair Baze had pulled up for him, Cassian began to get up.

“Cassian?” Chirrut asked as he blocked the man from leaving. Despite his intonation, it was not a question. “Is that you?”

Although the corner of Cassian’s mouth ticked, his clear discomfort didn’t make it into his reply. “Yes, Chirrut. Just brushing off my suit.” Jyn watched closely as he demonstratively dusted the front of his suit, and then sat back down.

“So! It seems while we were swept up with our wedding planning, we have missed a lot of what has happened in our friends lives, Baze,” Chirrut said. “I’d like to hear all about it. Wouldn’t you?”

Baze’s exhale was a mix of a sigh and a groan. “Sure.”

Jyn glanced at Bodhi. Convincing Baze and Chirrut hadn’t been part of the plan. In fact, it was a part of the plan they’d not even thought to craft. She could feel the panic pass like a current between them, until they both coughed, almost in unison, as though it would reset them somehow.

His wide-eyed desperation spurred her into action.

“I haven’t met-James, is it?” Jyn started, looking in the direction of Luke’s date.

“Jake.”

Chirrut grinned, turning his attention to Luke. “Luke! I didn’t know your studies allowed for you to have a partner.”

Jyn perked as Bodhi shifted, visibly uncomfortable. He had never told her the reason that Luke had left—not really.

A shadow flickered across Luke’s serene face. “They didn’t. But I-I realized that it was too restrictive, that way. So, I changed my mind.”

Jyn grabbed Bodhi’s hand, as if affectionately, to keep him on track. To no avail, of course.

“When did this happen?” he blurted out.

“Six months-” Jake began.

“Two months ago,” Luke countered, turning to look at his date with thinly veiled frustration.

“Oh, young love. What it would be to forget time again.” Chirrut leaned towards Baze, grinning.

Baze just rolled his eyes.

“What about you, Andor? Do you remain a bachelor? Is there special someone in your life?”

“No.” Cassian’s tone invited no further questioning. Not even from Chirrut.

Jyn blanched, a dull ache settling in her chest.

Chirrut turned his gaze on her. “That’s alright. I’ve saved the best story for last.”

Jyn always found it uncanny how, despite his blindness, Chirrut always managed to look directly at her. It was disconcerting.

“I wonder-”

Baze’s exasperated exhale interrupted his husband. “Chirrut.”

“What is it, my love?” Chirrut singsonged.

“I cannot take this-this foolishness any longer.” Baze cast a severe glance across the table. “May I?”

Chirrut smiled and lifted his hand in a gesture of acquiescence.

Baze needed no further motivation. “ _Luke._ It’s clear that James is a friend of Leia’s, who was simply too afraid to say no to his sister when she demanded that he help her brother. _Bodhi._ Who did you think you would fool? Seeing Luke and Leia kiss would be more convincing, than you and Jyn.”

Luke gagged.

“And _Cassian_ . How could you _ever_ believe it?”

Jyn cast a sidelong glance at Cassian, relieved to see that he was looking at her again, his features softening with every passing moment.

“What my husband means to say is, speak _honestly_ amongst yourselves. Only then, will you find true happiness.” Chirrut was no longer teasing them. “Let us have some peace,” he added with a laugh.

Jyn's mind whirled, thoughts and emotions overlapping until she couldn't tell one from the other. She blinked, then closed her eyes to clear her head, and when she opened them again, she discovered that everything was not how she had last remembered it. Chirrut and Baze were spinning on the dance floor, Bodhi and Luke were in the corner of the hall, their faces close together as they spoke in hushed whispers, and _Cassian—_ Cassian was looking at her with such need that her throat went dry.

“Jyn,” he rasped out, finally. “Why-why didn’t you tell me?” He’d shifted closer to her. She didn’t move.

“I…” Jyn faltered. How could she express, out loud, that the moment she’d seen him that she’d forgotten completely about her ruse with Bodhi? Or that she never considered that she would have to lie in front of Cassian? Or that she was terrified of the notion that it would not matter to him, at the end of the day, whether or not she was with someone else?

“I didn’t think about how it would come up. When it did, it was too late.”

Cassian smirked, far more understanding than she would have been. He raised his phone. “You know, you could have just texted me an explanation.”

She let out a shaky laugh. It hadn’t even occurred to her. What a simple solution to such a silly problem.

“That would have been easy, wouldn’t it?”

His expression grew more serious.

“But really. You could have told me. I told you that I’d always believe you. Has so much changed in my absence that you couldn’t trust me with this? I would have covered for you two,” Cassian pressed on. “I care about Bodhi too.”

“I don’t know,” she admitted, her voice barely a whisper. All she could conjure at that moment was the look shock and hurt of his expression when Bodhi had introduced her, and the paralyzing terror that she would feel everything that she did two and a half years ago when he left.

She could see the little spasms in his jaw again as he surveyed her, clearly debating if he should say what was on his mind.

Swallowing hard, she prepared for the inevitable. If he left this time, she knew that it was for good.

“Did I-lose my chance?” he asked instead. There was a frantic tone to his voice and wild look to him that she’d not seen before.

The question knocked the wind out of her for a moment. How could he even think that?

He must have taken her silence for dismissal, because he quickly began to backtrack.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I meant if my opinion wasn’t important anymore or-”

“No!” Her interjection halted him successfully, as he looked upon her, eyes wide. More softly, she continued, “No, that’s not what I meant, Cassian. I-I just…”

Fear gripped her once more as she struggled to explain to him what she had felt for him, not only now, but for years. As she watched his hopeful expression, realization bubbled up inside of her. They’d been torn apart for so long, by circumstance, by their own damned inability to communicate. If she didn’t quash her cowardice, her chances would truly be spent.

Jyn gritted her teeth for a moment, steeling herself. “I didn’t want to assume that you’d care,” she finally breathed out. “If you cared, and I was wrong, I’d lose you.” She crossed her arms. “And I couldn’t-”

“No.” he whispered, drawing her face into his palms, his calloused thumb stroking her cheek. Instead of being startled, she instead pressed into the warmth of his hands. “I’m with you. All the way.”

Cassian licked his lips, moving closer. She lifted her hand, placing it softly on his forearm.

“Being apart from you…” He, too, was struggling with the immense vulnerability between them. “I couldn’t remember how I felt before. I just missed you.” His voice cracked. “You’re my home.”

She felt a smile tugging her lips apart as warmth flooded her whole body.

“Welcome home, then,” she whispered.

As she brushed her lips against his, ever so lightly, she felt him return her gesture with more insistence.

Her mind was a haze of white static as she pressed closer against him. With the promise of a future, a peace finally settled over her.


End file.
